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Millions of Americans will sit down
tomorrow and pretend that every dish on the table is: cooked through (optimistically), technically food, and made with love,
when in reality at least three items will be: described as “interesting,” wrapped in foil that looks suspiciously like it came straight from a minivan, and transported in a Tupperware container from 1998. So once again, in the name of democracy and
questionable priorities, I’m opening the 2025 Thanksgiving Food Ballot, where voters will select their favorites across four key categories. This is not a poll. This is Election Night coverage nobody asked for. The